Babies
by Radioactive Rubber Duck
Summary: Darius accidentally reads all the inkheart characters including Meggie, Mo, and Resa into Elinors house, and to make it even more chaotic they have all been turned into children. Rated T as there will probably be some swearing.
1. Where it all goes Horribly wrong

**This comment contains spoiler? **

**This is set about halfway through Inkdeath, when Elinor and Darius go to the Inkworld. And also, anyone who had died before then is alive in this, it's more fun that way.**

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Elinor felt happier than she could ever remember being as Darius held the sheet of paper in front of him and began to read.

They were going to the Inkworld, and she was going to see everyone again!

She took one last look around her room while Darius read, seeing her gigantic collection of books for what she thought must be the last time.

Then, she closed her eyes, and no longer heard Darius' voice, he had finished reading. Her eyes flew open again, and she turned to hug Darius.

It was beautiful, they were stood in the wayless wood, the bright green tree canopies high up in the air above them, the trickling of a small stream on the mossy forest floor. Bright blue fairies flitted about the branches, and one of them tugged on Elinors hair.

The illusion disappeared then, and Elinor saw that her and Darius were still in the library, surrounded by books, and that It wasn't a fairy pulling on her hair. The trickling of the stream grew louder and louder, and became an almost completely different noise.

She turned around slowly, and was unable to speak for a few seconds. When she finally found her voice the words sounded hoarse and croaky.

"Forget everything about Resa's voice....Darius, this is the biggest screw-up you have EVER made!"

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**Sorry it was short, but the rest will be longer, I promise!**

**Also, I'm sorry to anyone who was waiting for me to update Amethysts and Emeralds, but I really wanted to write this before I forgot!**


	2. Baby Crate

**I forgot to do this in the first chapter, so now : I don't own Inkheart or any of the characters, if I did, this would have happened in the book.**

**Also, I'm sorry if anyone saw this in the wrong story archive, my mouse slipped while I was selecting the category. ^_^; **

**The ages in this seem to have nothing to do with how old they were before being kidized, it seems more fun that way.**

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Mo, Meggie and Resa stood in the middle of the room, all looking extremely confused and lost.

Surrounding them were hundreds and thousands of children....okay, perhaps not quite that many, but still, A LOT.

"Erm...oh....sorry Elinor...I didn't know it would...sorry." Darius said sheepishly, looking away from the glaring Elinor.

"Wow...what happened here?" asked Meggie, staring at all the small beings surrounding her. There was a lot of difference in ages, the oldest looking about 16, and the youngest about 3.

"Darius here tried to read me and him into the Inkworld to find you, using Orpheus' words, but he's completely screwed it up, and we are now in a room full of random babies with know idea how they got here."

"Elinor...." said Mo calmly, the surprise at finding himself suddenly in this situation seemed to have worn off already. "I don't think they're that random...." He picked up an ugly looking 6 year old with a birth mark across her face and showed it to the others.

"Oh my god, that's not...?"

"Yes, it is. See? Now, tell us your name please." He smiled at the little girl.

"My name is Violante." said the child in a high pitched voice. "And I remember who you are, Bluejay! But it's....not so....I don't remember very well...." The young Violante wrestled out of Mo's grip and crawled away to some other part of the library.

"I see!" Said Meggie brightly, before Elinor had a chance to respond. "They still have their memories, but they are fading!"

"Yes, it seems that way..." her father murmured. He turned and talked to a few more children. After doing so, he looked back at the others.

"Well, they seem to remember who they are as adults, but their memories of me and you seem to be fading fast. Which means I'm safe I suppose." He laughed. "But their minds are still like a child's, so that's how they will act...."

"Yes, but what do we DO with them?!" Elinor shouted. "We can't just keep them here! You know what, I say we just kill all the villains, and give the rest to an orphanage!"

Darius, Mo, and Meggie stared, and Resa burst into tears.

"You can't do that!" Meggie yelled. "They're children now, and we have to take care of them!"

Resa was still crying, and the other three looked ready to defend the noisy little brats aswell.

"Fine, FINE!" Elinor gave in. "We'll keep the stupid inkbabies..."

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Half an hour later, they were sorting through the children, trying to figure out who was who. Darius had run to the nearest village and bought five of those baby play area, crate, things. (You know the ones I mean." And it was these play area crate things that the babies were being carried into after they were identified, to stop them destroying Elinors books.

Violante had been easy, as had the Adderhead, the Black Prince and the Piper(who for some reason still had a silver nose instead of a real one) but the others weren't so easy to find.

"Aha!" Said Elinor triumphantly. "I found Dustfinger!" She scooped up a ginger haired ten year old and put him in the crate.

"I'm not Dustfinger!" It yelled, crossing it's arms. "I'm Firefox STUPID."

"Look, you mind what you call me or...." She trailed off, having noticed the real Dustfinger, a red haired five year old who had stolen the matches from Elinor and Darius's bag of supplies for the Inkworld, and was now eating them.

"It's okay, I've got him!!!" Yelled Resa dramatically, diving almost slow motion towards the little Dustfinger and rolling over when she hit the ground before chucking him into a crate.

Mo stared.

"Wow, where the hell did you learn to do _that_?"

"Mo!" Meggie chided him. "Don't swear in front of the children!"

"Why? They are." He pointed towards the crate containing most of the villains, a constant stream of profanities was coming from inside it.

"Oh my god!" Meggie yelled a few minutes later, when all the Inkbabies had been rounded up. "I can't find Jacopo! What if he went to far back?!"

"Yeah...." Elinor said, sounded disgusted. "You may be right. I just found a foetus on on of my precious books!!" Tears fell from her eyes. "I liked that book!"

Resa started crying too then.

"Don't you care about the children at all?!" She cried.

"No." Elinor sobbed. "They killed three whole square millimetres of my book! THIS MEANS WAR!"

Suddenly, the 7 year old Roxane started singing, and Elinor didn't want a war anymore.


	3. Combustion Cat

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inkheart or any of its characters…and that applies for all chapters because I'm lazy.**

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Firefox, Basta, Violante, Balbulus and the Black Prince had gone with Elinor and Darius to the shops to get what they needed to look after the large amount of children, or Inkbabies, as they seemed to have been named.

But the rest have them had just been left in the garden.

"Kitty!" Yelled the overexcited Dustfinger, having noticed a grey cat trying to remain hidden in the bushes. He grabbed it by the tail and pulled it towards him, picking it up and stroking its fur backwards.

"Hello mister kitty!" He said happily, almost pulling its skin back off its skull as he petted it.

Several of the other children gathered around to watch, all pushing each other to pull, poke, or attempt to pet any part of the unfortunate cat they could reach. But after a few seconds they all began screaming and ran off again.

Meggie, passing a window on her way outside, glimpsed a burning cat running across the lawn and a forlorn looking ginger child sitting in a small pile of smoking fur.

When she reached the garden, Capricorn, being the sweet, innocent little 8 year old that he was, was laughing hysterically at the burning feline, and attempting to kick the Piper into Elinor's pond.

"Capricorn, stop that!" she shouted. But she realised she was too late when the Piper emerged from the pond with a goldfish on his head and glaring at Capricorn.

Meggie sighed and reached out to try and pull him out of the pond, but he pulled himself out and walked off.

"Piss off! I don't need your help!!" He shouted back, his voice sounded even stranger than it had in the Inkworld due to the fact that he had been reversed to the age of 14, and his voice was starting to break. Of all the characters that could have been turned into a stroppy teenager, it had to be him.

Well, at least some of the others had turned ages that weren't so annoying, Jacopo didn't even exist anymore, that was a relief.

"Capricorn, you shouldn't have done that, it was a very bad thing to do!" She scolded, well, it was best to at least try to discipline them, right?

"No, he's good like that!" Shouted an angry, black-haired girl. She walked over to Capricorn and squeezed him so tight he began choking. "I want him to be that way!" The 11 year old Mortola, poked Meggie in the stomach (which was the highest part of her she could reach) and went back to bothering her only 3-years-younger-than-her son.

"I'm hunnnggrryyy." She began whining. "When's dinner?"

"Later." Said Meggie coldly, glaring at Mortola. She didn't care if she was just a child right now; she still hated her as much as ever.

"Fine! I'll eat my own food then!" She grabbed a fistful off small black seeds and shoved them into her mouth.

Seconds later a small, pink, featherless bird was lying on the floor and screeching loudly.

Mortola was now nothing more than a helpless baby Magpie, a young, innocent creature that nobody would ever think of harming.

Except Meggie, who picked the noisy thing up and threw it in the same direction the burning cat had run off in.

"Yay, annoying naggy mummy lady is gone!" Capricorn applauded, smiling around at everything. However this happy, peaceful attitude was gone in seconds as he started hitting the nearest child to him round the head as hard as he could, which wasn't very.

But Meggie did nothing to stop this, as she was now running across the garden yelling

"Roxane, stop eating dirt!!"

Roxane just stuck her tongue out and went back over to Dustfinger, who was not just also eating dirt; he was cooking it, and then eating it.

"Oh my god…" Meggie wished Mo or Resa would come to her aid, but Mo was in his office and Resa, when asked for help, had just smiled and told her daughter that it was important for young girls to learn how to be mothers when they were older.

"Look, just stop eating it!!" She shouted.

"WORM PIE!" was the only response she got.

Worms and mud…she really didn't know why her mother was so upset about not having been able to look after her all those years, shouldn't it have been a blessing?

She picked Dustfinger up and carried him back towards the door; hopefully he wouldn't find anything to eat indoors now that Elinor had hidden the matchsticks.

Speak of the devil, Meggie heard the sound of wheels on gravel, Elinor and Darius were back! She ran over to the drive, not noticing that Dustfinger was now chewing on her hair.

The two adults climbed out of the car after the children, all of them had been carrying bags of shopping, with the exception of Firefox, who was just hugging a fox plushie.

"You got him a fox?" She asked, putting the young fire-eater down, and yelping when her hair got pulled on.

"Yes, we got all them something as they were so nice to help us." She said, seeming almost like a normal, kind, child-loving old lady. "Unlike all the others." She glared round at them.

Nope, still the same old Elinor.

"So, did the little brats cause much chaos while I was out?"

"Well, not much actually….well, the piper got pushed into your pond, we had to lock the Adderhead in the cellar for the time being, Mortola turned into a baby Magpie and Dustfinger's probably got about five different types of food poisoning as well as setting a cat on fire…but apart from, that, they've been almost good!"

They stared for a few seconds before deciding to just take the rest of the shopping back into the house. It was so much easier than having to think about the amount of destruction the Inkbabies were yet to bring.

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A few hours later all the children had been brought into the dining room to eat. (Elinor's table had expanded somehow….maybe Mo read someone out of Harry Potter to do it; I'll let you decide how it happened for yourselves.)

So far, it wasn't going great; the Adderhead had "accidentally" dropped three plates already, the Black Prince was sulking because his Bear had to eat from a dog bowl, and Firefox, who was being constantly distracted by the name of his orange juice, kept calling Capricorn "Capri Sun" by mistake.

"Elbows off the table!" Elinor snapped for the three hundred and twenty-eighth time that evening. When would she learn that it wasn't making any difference?

"And you eat something!" She prodded Dustfinger's shoulder.

His plate was still full, but the tablecloth surrounding it was suddenly full of suspicious holes…holes surrounded with teeth marks.

Meggie sighed, please, _please_ let them go soon!

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**If you didn't know what Capri Sun was, it's a type of juice. I almost typoed Capricorns name like that, which is why I put it in there .**

**Please review and tell me what you think! ^-^**


	4. Mozilla

**Sorry that there isn't so many babies in this by the way, but I only just realised there aren't that many Inkheart characters. Except the minor ones, but they'd be a bit boring.**

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It was the first night the Inkbabies would be spending outside of their story. (With the exception of all those who had been read out in Inkheart.)

Elinor, after finally giving in to the others' pleas not to make the children sleep in the garden, had decided to give them rooms. Five Inkbabies to each bedroom.

And so the sleeping arrangements went like this.

Violante, Brianna, Roxane, Balbulus and Basta were sleeping in the attic in which both Dustfinger and Farid had once stayed.

Firefox, Dustfinger, the Adderhead, the Piper and Capricorn would be in the room directly below the attic.

The Black Prince, the Bear, Thumbling, Snapper, and Doria had been placed in another room, the position of which is even more irrelevant than that of the others.

And so, even though this arrangement wasn't quite as chaotic as it could have been, the night was still going to be far from normal.

In the room under the attic, no one was even trying to sleep, Dustfinger was eating more matches, the Piper was sitting on the floor looking bored, Firefox was on the laptop that Elinor had let him borrow, and Capricorn was amusing himself by watching out the window for the bats that kept flying past the house.

The room was filled with computer turning on sound once Firefox had figured out how the laptop worked. He looked around the monitor, inspecting each icon with great interested.

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"Oh my god!! They've found me!! Oh my god, help!!" Everyone in the room turned sharply around to see what he was panicking about.

"L-look, my name! There! You see it?! Oh my god, what's it doing there?!" He pointed frantically to an icon on the desktop. It showed a blue orb with a small, orange creature wrapped round the lower half of it.

"It's not you, it's internet." said Dustfinger, shoving the final matchstick down his mouth and looking proud that he was the only one who understood, having been in that world for so long before.

The others just stared at him, even more confused than they were before.

Dustfinger walked, in a slightly wobbly fashion, towards a one of the bookcases in the corner of the room. It didn't have any of Elinors important books in it, but it was still Elinors house, and so every room had to have at least three full bookcases in it.

He returned to the rest of the group holding a thick, plain looking white book. He held it out to Firefox, who took it from him with shaky hands.

How was he so scared of a computer icon, even if it did have his name underneath it?

Firefox looked at the book, on the cover the word "ENCYCLOPEDIA" was written in large red letters.

Dustfinger grabbed onto the cover with his teeth, which he seemed to have grown better at using than his hands now, and began flipping through the pages until he reached somewhere in the middle of the "I" section. He pointed one of his short fingers towards the entry for "Internet."

All of the others crowded tightly around the encyclopaedia, trying to read what it said.

"Oh, now I get it." Firefox laughed nervously. "Um, yeah, you guys can go...I'm not being followed...."

The three childised villains were smirking as they went back to what they had been doing.

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"And...so the...evil wizard...was...very sad...be-because he...knew...that he....had been very....bad..."

Brianna stumbled through the words in a quiet voice. She had turned out 2 years younger than Violante had, but they both still insisted that she read to the older girl, despite the fact she could barely even read at all.

But it seemed to be a habit they had kept from the Inkworld, and it seemed the others had all kept their hobbies to, as while Brianna bravely battled her way through the first chapter of "Sarah Smith and the Nasty Wizard", Balbulus sat on his pillow, drawing on his etchisketch without looking up.

Meggie walked in and sighed, weren't these guys asleep either?

Oh good Basta was, that was a relief. Elinor had demanded that all sharp things in the house were to be locked away. She had made completely sure that this order was carried out. Perhaps it wouldn't have been that bad, except for the fact that when Elinor said all shiny things, she meant all. Resa had spent hours crawling around the house, trying to find paper clips to add to the pile of "dangerous" things which Basta might somehow end up killing them with.

Roxane, who had also seemed to carry on with what she liked doing in her home world, had spent three hours tending to a small potted cactus on the window sill. But Elinor had run in there a while ago, almost hysterical with the fear caused by Basta being in the _same room_ as something so sharp.

And so now, with the Cactus gone, she was kneeling on the floor, staring through a whole in the wood at the boys in the room below, trying to catch a glimpse of her husband.

"Balbulus, out that thing down and go to sleep. We'll bring you some paper to draw on in the morning. Come to think of it, why didn't Elinor just give you paper in the first place instead of getting you that thing?"

"Sheets of paper have sharp corners!" Elinor shouted, having appeared unnoticed in the doorway. "That fiend could kill us all with paper cuts!!" she pointed to where Basta was sleeping.

"...Riggghhhtt, are you _sure_ you aren't getting just a little bit paranoid?"

"No! Better safe than sorry!" The paranoid old woman said before leaving. "Well, I'm going to go make sure we've hidden all of the biros."

Without even bothering to ask how biros were dangerous, Meggie went over to Brianna and took the book from her.

"You can stop reading and go to bed now too, okay? And that means the rest of you aswell."

Brianna and Violante went straight into bed, tired from all the reading, but Meggie had to prise Roxane away from the hole in the floor.

"You can stop spying now, they'll have to get changed soon, and you need sleep."

However, the comment about changing only made the young girl struggle harder.

"And that means the others as well as Dustfinger."

Roxane immediately fell still and let herself be tucked in under the covers.

"Okay, sleep now, and don't make loads of noise, and don't let Basta move, Elinor will panic so much she'll probably end up destroying something."

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In the room below, everyone had become calm again.

Well, not calm. But the Firefox panic was over at least.

Capricorn had found coke in the kitchen, and was now hyper, and giggling constantly.

"Weeeeeeeeeheheheeeeeeeeee!!" He yelled as a small bat flew past the window.

The Piper was complaining about the noise Capricorn was making, and was beginning to sound like he was just saying:

"Nehnehneh,nehnehnehnehneeh."

A bit of hair had fallen across the Adderhead's face, and, too lazy too move his arm, he was concentrating fully on trying to blow it out of the way again. His was doing so very noisily and sounded as if he was just blowing raspberries.

Firefox stayed silent.

The Piper continued complaining.

"Nehneh, nehnehnehnehh."

Another bat flew past.

"Hehe, Wheeeeee!! Heheheh!"

And the Adderhead still hadn't got that hair out of the way.

"Prrwwfffff!!!" He continued trying to blow it out of the way, and continued sounding as if he was trying to make stupid noises.

Firefox stayed silent.

"Wheeee! Heheeheh!!"

"Prwwfff! Prwwf!"

"Nehnehneeh."

"Prrwwwfffffffffffff!"

"Heheeheee!"

"Shut up!" Firefox snapped at them, turning around from the laptop screen and glaring at them.

The Adderhead shut his mouth tight, the Piper went quiet and looked awkwardly from side to side.

Capricorn stopped giggling, but another bat flew past the window and he just couldn't help it.

"WHEEE-"

He was cut off by a loud "Whumpf!!" as his head went up in flame, due to the small explosion Dustfinger had caused.

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**Yeah, about the end bit, it was based on this. Me and my friend at school were thinking about ho the others would be, if Firefox was Firefox. Okay, the link doesn't work, if you want to watch it, just put .com infront of what I pasted below. Or search firefox add in youtube.**

**/watch?v=vSKDbrS1m_A**

**Also, if there's any characters I forgot that you would like to play a bigger part in this, please review and say so! I know my memory's bad, so I've probably forgotten somebody important...**


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